Wednesday, June 6, 2012

{ Trials }

I have always considered myself lucky. I honestly have never faced a truly, "trial of my faith" type of problem. I mean, little hiccups here and there. Normal "way life goes" sorts of things, but nothing seriously mountainous. Let me tell ya, I have yet to face something super traumatic. However, I think having smaller trials back, to back, to back, to back, to back (are you getting the picture) are giving me that "trial of my faith" type of feeling.
April and May were not the best of months. I have seriously hurt myself. To the point of not being able to care for my family in the way I should, AT ALL. Frustrating! I was really on track to complete my first 1/2 marathon. That came to a stand still, and so much more. Now, I cannot even walk from my bedroom to the kitchen without crutches or a brace. This has infuriated me. I am not a "sit around" type of a girl, so trying to be patient and heal has not been easy.
Our car broke down on us for about the 6th time in a month. We poured lots of money into that thing, until dear ole' hubs finally had enough, and traded it in. Which, now I see as a blessing but still sheesh... So not apart of the plan!
Sick kids, still a bum leg mom, I get sick, I get pink eye, my washer is on the fritz, refrigerator dies (have to buy a new one)... see a pattern of bad luck here?
Fast forward to June. June can only get better, right? Apparently, I am wrong. Because we are a week in, and I find out my hours at work are getting cut in half. Yikes!! I am still working through this one. There has to be a reason, right? Right!
So, as we sort through all of these "little" trials I am finding myself truly humbled. I have been lucky in life. I have been blessed beyond measure, and even through these "issues" we are dealing with now, I am finding some miracles everyday. Like, miraculously my washer washed a load of laundry perfectly. Or, my new car makes it nice and easy for me to get my big ole braced up leg in and out of the car without (too) much of a problem! My sweet kids, who are oblivious to it all (that is the way it should be mind you), are enjoying every bit of summer. They get "mommy's leg", they give me foot rubs, read me stories. I don't think those little girls will ever understand just how much they teach me, and help me through. Being hurt, and needing help has also humbled me enough to accept help. Humility is a hard thing. I struggle greatly with accepting help from others. However, I am learning that if we do not allow others the opportunity to serve us in times of need, we are robbing them of blessings and great experiences. After all, it is through service that we learn to serve. I am blessed tenfold with good things!
I am so grateful for the good things in life. A husband who will work nearly every. single. day to make up for where I fall short. Children who remind me what is important, and a Heavenly Father who loves me unconditionally. He has felt my feelings of utter exhaustion, frustration, being pressed to the absolute end of my rope. But, I can handle it. He gave me these trials for growth and experience, so I can handle it!
So, while you may see me out and about running around like a crazy person, I am grateful for the blessings that come after the trial of faith. While I am still trying to understand, make sense of, and just make it through, I know that I will. Because after all, I have the Lord on my side.
"There is nothing that we are enduring that Jesus does not understand, and He waits for us to go to our Heavenly Father in prayer. I testify that if we will be obedient and if we are diligent, our prayers will be answered, our problems will diminish, our fears will dissipate, light will come upon us, the darkness of despair will be dispersed, and we will be close to the Lord and feel of His love and of the comfort of the Holy Ghost. It is my prayer that we can find the faith, courage, and strength to endure to the end so that we may feel the joy of faithfully returning to the arms of our Heavenly Father" -Elder Robert D. Hales

1 comment:

Linsey said...

Geez, and I thought your leg was enough to deal with by itself! July is going to be your month...right?! Half marathon next year!